I don't need an answer - I just need to ask

Why would you ask me now, after I've already made my decision?
What is there to change except my own mind?
And why is time always so inflexible
       everyone warring for my same two minutes
       which are by goodness sakes already taken three times over
       by three different sets of people?
Why is it impossible to find a compromise?
Does the flock, the herd, always win?
And whyyyyyyy
Why doesn't it matter except to me?
Why does he always win
though he cares only half as much? (if that?)
Why is the last time always the hardest?
But also the most beautiful?
Is that why it irks me so?
Why can't I accept the "If they don't want me,
I don't want them" mentality?

[Why can't it be easy?
Why can't it be doable?
Why do I have to bend over backwards trying to
make something work
that obviously doesn't want to work
in its own nature?]

Why?

Please don't ask me to come up with answers.
I'm not expecting answers from anyone.
I just need to ask the questions.